Look, I swear, everything I said in the "Intro to the Horn" was A JOKE!  I don't mean to put down or offend anyone.  I've played in a lot of different sections, in a lot of different ensembles, and I recognize the need of every player of every part in every section.  The last chair flute is only slightly less important to the welfare of the band than the solo clarinet, who has approximately equal importance with the tubas and the percussion and yes, even the horns . 

 

Maybe this is just my horn, father, family-ness talking, but I think that you're all important to the band, and if you were honestly offended by something I said about you or your instrument, I'm sorry.  You shouldn't be.  I value you and the contribution you make to the band, as long as you DO make a contribution to the band, and don't detract from it.  I love playing the horn, and I honestly think that if any of you switched over and gave the horn a chance (no, Wedge did NOT), then you would understand why.  But if you truly and honestly love your instrument, more power to you!  Play it, love it, practice on it!  There's no need to pick on someone else and the instrument they play!  Teasing, joking, and making fun will only hurt us as a band.  So for all of you that are dissing the horns, I suggest you grow up and act like an adult, not like a third grader making fun of someone else just to satisfy his own insecurities.  Get some class, you guys.  If you have any care at all for the band, how about being nice?  I'm gonna like Marching Band this year; you can at least be nice.

 

Sure, we horns may come off as arrogant sometimes, maybe even elitist.  I can't really speak for the other horns.  But as for myself, I can say that I like you all.  When people insult the horns or the trumpets unprovoked, I get pretty pissed, as you can probably tell as you read this.  Honestly though, it bothers me if anyone attacks any person or section unprovoked.  That's not cool.  You're probably thinking of my "Intro" and calling me a hypocrite, but again, that was all a total joke.  You guys all need to just calm down and stop.  The flute jokes have become just downright mean.  Again, get some class, ladies.  Grow up, Liz.  And if you absolutely NEED to diss the horns, diss the horns, not their players.  That's low, to get personal, and diss me.  I never dissed you, just made JOKES about your instruments.

 

We're a band.  We're almost full, official adults.  Some of us already are.  So let's make our already freakin' amazing band even better, okay?  There's a reason why I wear cufflinks with the hammer and sickle of Communism/Socialism during most concert band performances: symbolism.  If we all work together, doing our equal parts (like in Marxist Communism), then we can all be happy and successful together.  So can we all just be nice?  I guess I kinda started the sectional rivalry with my "Intro".  How about I finish it, too, right now?  We'll all be better off without it.  Okay? 

 

Go Gators!