Meditations, On New Year's Eve

Among others, I lost two things this year, just in the past 5 or 6 months, things that I cared about very much, and was very sad to lose. In early September, my grandmother died. Though not my actual grandmother, I loved her like she was one, and was deeply grieved to lose her. About a month later, my father had some complications in a routine medical procedure and became suddenly on the brink of death, paralyzed on the entire left half of his body. Over the past few months, my father has made a slow and steady progress in healing. He who once had a massive body with large, powerful hands and a quick, albeit corny, wit now spends most of his time in a rehab clinic, where he spends 2 hours walking about 20 feet, then is so tired that he needs a nap. Eating is another task that requires so much effort that a nap is required afterwards. He used to be very articulate and clear in his speech; now he has to repeat almost everything he says, and even then you have to guess at what he's saying, since only half of his mouth and his tongue work. He had to repeat 'I love you, Jake' on the phone, when I talked to him on Christmas, because I couldn't understand him the first time. Effectively, I've lost much of my father.

Why, you may ask, am I sharing this with you? I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm tired of sympathy; it's waste of time and effort for the sympathizer and sympathizee. I'm sharing this with you, with anyone who may read this, in the hopes that you will learn from this all. Seize the day. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. You may not be able to do it tomorrow. Don't fight with people, don't be contentious. You never know what may happen to that person. Make sure all the people you love know you love them, because you never know what could happen to you or them before they ever find out. We live in a fast-paced world, and things always change. Try to live through those changes without regrets of the past. Do the things you want to do, while you still can, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Within the next year, I could get drafted and die for a cause that I'm vehemently against (not if I can help it, of course), so you can be dang well sure that while I'm still alive, I'm gonna be happy, living the way I want to live, having fun and being happy. So what, if I look a little gay in spandex with a print of fire all over it? Big deal! It was fun and funny, and I'll always remember it! So that's my message. You only live once, and you never know how it's going to end up, so make it the best freakin' life you could possibly live.